The question of whether a modern relationship can exist without sex is one which continues to prey on the minds of singletons and those with long term partners. Whilst it can seem like a trivial question to some, particularly when you contrast the immediacy and base satisfaction of sexual pleasure with the power of long term commitment, contemporary studies almost always suggest that a healthy sex life is vital for a happy relationship.
It would be an out and out lie to deny that there are couples out there who do not have sex and are still happy together, but they do exist within a very small minority. For the most part, they tend to be either much older people or people with physical disabilities for whom sex is a difficult chore. For the vast majority of contemporary couples, regular sex is something which bonds, strengthens, enriches, and honors a commitment.
The reality is that sex has the power to cause a huge amount of trouble for a couple, particularly if the two individuals do not share the same opinions on what constitutes good sex, how often sex should occur, how experimental sex should be, and how important it is to a healthy life together. Unfortunately, society can be a very confusing place – we are confronted with sexual imagery at every juncture of our lives, but the frank discussion of sex is very often frowned upon.
This is the obstacle which you need to climb over if you are to share a wonderful sex life with your partner. In other words, there is absolutely nothing more useful and nurturing than being able to talk openly with one another. The key here is to be honest and to be understanding. Whilst you should never feel obligated to do something that you are uncomfortable or unhappy with, neither should you make your partner feel for bravely suggesting something that you do not agree with.
Listening and Understanding
For example, it can take a huge amount of courage to reveal or admit to a sexual fetish which is even slightly outside the norm. The single most damaging thing that you can do to a person in this situation is allow them to be vulnerable and then laugh at, mock, deride, or respond unnecessarily harshly to what is, essentially, just an attempt to be open and honest.
The bottom line, and it can be a hard truth for many to hear, is that if one person in a relationship is not fulfilling the sexual needs of the other, that person will almost certainly look for satisfaction elsewhere. It might not be the right thing to do, but it is human instinct, and it can be extremely difficult to overcome.
For the most part, a non-sexual romantic relationship will only function healthily if both partners are equally uninterested in sexual contact. This can sometimes be the case, but once again, it tends to be more common among older people who struggle with disability issues and who have already shared long and happy sexual lives together anyway. We are animals and animals are driven by sexuality – a healthy relationship is one which recognizes this.